The Surgery

I know I said I would provide updates on my progress via this blog while I was in the hospital, obviously I've underestimated how much the surgery kicked my butt! Only now (3 weeks later) I'm feeling like my old self and I can sit down with a clear head and put my thoughts down.

*Disclaimer* I am on a lot of medications, so if what I'm saying is a bit loopy, please forgive me :)

The big day finally arrived. Rob and I have been anticipating it for months. Even though we've been through meetings after meetings with our transplant coordinators, we still didn't know what to expect. Neither one of us have been through minor surgery let alone major surgery... well Rob did have his tonsils out when he was younger. So needless to say I was terrified. I can admit that now. But I was never able to say it out loud. I needed to be strong for myself... for everyone. Only now do I know that other people around me were terrified too, but they didn't let it show.

We checked in to the OR at 5:30am. Rob went in first. He was wheeled up to the OR first and then I was to follow around 10am. I went into the prep area and this was where I was to be given the anesthesia. Before that happened, there was still some waiting that needed to be done. While I waited, there was a young man who was laying next to me, he was only 26 years old and he was there for a brain biopsy. It made me feel guilty for being worried about my own surgery when he was about to have his head sliced open. It gave me yet another perspective. Throughout this process, I've learned many lessons along the way. This was another one.

I met my anesthesiologist. He asked if I drink. I said a few sips of wine would take me out. He laughed and said, "Well this will be like a full glass for you." And that's all I remembered.

The surgeries took about 4-6 hours. When I woke up, I heard a woman's voice and a gentle hand on my shoulder saying, "Jenny, Jenny, you're surgery is done. We're finished." I remember thinking, "Really?!" I was groggy and my memory at this point is very fuzzy. At this point, Rob had woken up and was recovering in his room. His surgery went successfully.

I was immediately told that they had to do an emergency procedure. I woke up with an IV in my hand and in my neck. The one in my neck had a tube that was probably about a foot long inside the vein in my neck. They said it was dangerously close to touching my heart. If it did, well I may not be here writing this today. So they placed a cloth over my eyes and the surgeon was yelling at people and I'm assuming now it was pretty frantic. I can remember her screaming at people to get things, do things, etc. She said it wasn't going to hurt, but all I could remember was that it was in my neck! AGH!!! I felt pressure, pulling, tugging, taping and it was over. Little did I know, she had to remove the sutures and resuture it after she pulled the tube out a few inches away from my heart. These surgeons are amazing!!!

During this time, my parents and my brother and mother-in-law were getting worried because they told them I would be in my room, but four hours later, they were given no new information except to say that I had to undergo an emergency procedure.

Finally, my family came in to see me, I woke up with this weird film over my eyes that has now crusted over. I was so groggy and weak. I remember asking how Rob was and that was it.

Rob who had just undergone a major procedure, had to walk over to my room to see me. I don't remember him doing that at all, I must've fallen asleep again.

The first night was the worst. I was given Vicodin so honestly the pain I would've felt was suppressed. But I couldn't sleep the first night, my nurse would come into the room to check my vitals every hour on the hour.

The next morning, my nurse made me get out of bed and walk. WOW!!! It hurt so badly. Basically my incision is about 6-8 inches across my abdomen from below my belly button to my right hip. The muscles were sliced open and the nerves have been jolted and pushed around, so getting out of bed was the most excruciating experience. And yes, I delivered Brooke the traditional way, so I know what pain is. My nurse promised me the next time wouldn't hurt as badly. I looked at her as though she just spat on my grandmother's grave. But she was right.

I walked gingerly around the recovery unit and walked into Rob's room and visited him. He was up as well. It was nice to see him smiling back at me and I was relieved to know he was recovering the way he should be.

The funny thing is I was so scared going into the surgery that the day of surgery, so much was happening so fast that I had no time to really get scared.

Waking up to see flowers after flowers and cards after cards being sent to my room filled me with so much love from all of you. Flowers to some of you may seem like a cliche, but take it from someone who was the recipient of those flowers, it means the world to know you were thinking of me. Again, it reminded me, I was not alone.