Ode to My Husband

While I think about heading back to work soon and reminiscing about the life-altering event my family has been through, I can't help but realize life past me by so quickly the last few months. I know life goes on despite everything, but I've been reflecting on what I've missed this summer. Things we usually do.

For instance, we missed celebrating our wedding anniversary. It was eight days after our surgery. I missed my mom's birthday, it was three days after, and we missed Rob's birthday. And when I say missed, I mean I didn't celebrate them on time or how I would've wanted to. Of course, I have made up for all of it. I guess I kind of had an excuse.

But the reflecting continues. This is definitely a summer I will never forget. For one thing, it's been the longest stretch of time Rob and I have spent together without the normal stresses of life, work for one thing. Granted he gets this reprieve each summer being a high school math teacher. But to have the chance to share this special time with him has been invaluable.

I always view things as lessons in life. I can't begin to tell you the many lessons my disease has taught me. But the most prominent things have been how much I'm loved. I'm loved by all of you for one thing. I truly couldn't have been as strong as I have been without your love and support. Again... thank you.

I've learned I am truly, deeply, madly loved by my husband. I never doubted this, this isn't breaking news, but for him to volunteer to undergo surgery, to put his life at risk to save mine is the greatest gift he could ever give me. Before that it was Brooke, of course.

I didn't realize how profound his action was until I was back in the hospital three weeks after my surgery. It was a routine procedure, the doctor had to remove the stent in my bladder. Since the surgery and when I returned, the nurses kept saying how heroic my husband is and how lucky I am to have him. I kept thinking, "I know, I know. You're preaching to the choir. Tell me something I don't know." But each new nurse, doctor, surgeon, anesthesiologist who would come visit me, kept reiterating the message. Until finally, one nurse explained. She said they see transplants every day. Most of the time, unfortunately, recipients get dead donor kidneys. Live donors are rare. They are a rare breed. But even rarer are male donors, specifically husbands donating to wives. Wives tend to donate more than husbands, but for some reason husbands are not as willing. So when they see a husband donate so willingly to his wife, it is truly a gift. The nurse said this with tears in her eyes and held my hand and said, "This is why we think your husband is truly a gift and you are beyond blessed to have him."

I feel loved by his hugs, kisses, and daily reminders of how much he loves me, but not until that moment did I realize how much he truly meant it. How much he meant it when he vowed to love me in sickness and in health, how much he meant it when he said he couldn't do this thing called life without me. He would die for me and that was something so profound and moving, I felt compelled to shout it to the world.

I hope upon hope that each and every one of you reading this has or will find someone out there who loves you the way Rob loves me. I am truly honored to be his friend and wife. Thank you babe for everything. Thanks to you, I can say I know what love is.